Here are just a few advice tips on how to have a better relationship and undertanding your spouse or dating partner better. If you need more guidance and help to improve your relationships, don’t hesitate to contact me for a free discovery call so that we can see how can I help you to have a amazing relationship with minimum conflict.

 

We are not raised the same

One of the things which can create conflict in a relationship is that we miss understand each other’s personality and character traits in a relationship. We came from different back grounds, cultures and we were raised differently in our childhoods. Now as adults we see the world differently through the filters of our past.

The best way to understand each other is to learn more about each other, to ask questions why your spouse or dating partner is doing things the way they are doing it. By doing that you will get a clearer understanding of your partner.

What is the causes of misunderstanding each other 

We as humans have our own identity and personality and character traits. We are so unique that not one of us have the same finger print. In this world we have to live and work with each other and that is not the easiest thing to do, there will be always anger, hate, jealousy, differences and conflict between people.

The common thing that creates that differences is that we have all different personalities. The answer lies in the fact that we must understand each other’s differences. We came from different childhoods, different cultures, and some sort of traumas even if we know it or not.

What is the cause of the misunderstanding?

  1. You and your partner comes from different backgrounds
    • Different cultures and race
      1. How you and your partner are being raised as a child
        1. Western vs Asian
  • Different households
    1. How your parents raise you – how did you do things as a family
    2. Habits in your family
  • Different childhoods
    1. Trauma in the childhood that are still captured in the subconscious mind
      1. Verbal abuse
      2. Molested
      3. Rejection
      4. Abandonment
      5. Fear
    2. Rich or poor childhood
  1. You or your partner as just plain selfish
    • Just care about your own needs
  2. Thinking that your partner will catch hinds or think that he or she will know what you are thinking.
  3. Men are task orientated and woman are emotional orientated.
    • Men want to solve a woman’s problems practically.
    • Woman wants a man to listen to her first and then give a practical solution.
    • As a rule of thumb, men should offer women compassion first and then help, and women should offer men help first and then compassion.
  4. Not understanding each other’s love language
    • Words of affirmation
    • Quality time
    • Receiving gifts
    • Acts of service
    • Physical touch

 

Pitfalls in misunderstanding in a relationship

Misunderstanding Pitfall #1: Mind-Reading.

We expect others to mind-read us. Misunderstandings root from the very idea that we (at times) expect others to simply “just know” what we are thinking or feeling, without ever speaking to them about it.

Misunderstanding Pitfall #2: Being Right.

Another common misunderstanding pitfall that will ruin any relationship is an obsession with being “right.” If you are in a conflict, and your goal is to prove the other wrong, you are setting yourself up for an even bigger fight.

The reason that letting go of “being right” is so important is that people want to be heard. People want to be understood. It rarely has to do with whether you’re right or not.

The more important skill to harness is uncovering the missing information that your partner holds, and not getting trapped in the “you’re wrong and I’m right” vortex. When misunderstandings take place, we want to ask our partner, “What happened? Why was it important to you? What can I do differently? What upset you the most?

Misunderstanding Pitfall #3: Assumptions.

There are so many misunderstandings that are based on assumptions

The truth is, you DON’T know how someone is feeling. You don’t know what someone is thinking. And you also don’t know if you have all of the facts.

Perceptions are what we want to work with when we’re in a place of misunderstandings, not, assumptions. Because at the end of the day, that’s really all a misunderstanding is: a perception difference.

 

 

How to avoid misunderstanding with your partner

 

Communicating effectively

    1. Listening to your partner can help you understand what they want and need.
    2. Rephrase what your partner says. For instance, if your partner says, “The pasta is a bit stiff still and the water is cold,” you might reply, “It sounds as though the pasta is not done cooking yet, is that right?”

 

Share your feelings with your partner.

Once you’ve identified your feelings, you’re ready to share them with your partner. Your partner loves and cares about you, and you should, therefore, share your feelings with them in order to build a stronger and more honest relationship.[3]

  1. Avoid using accusatory language like, “You make me feel…” when expressing your feelings. Instead, try owning your feelings by saying statements that start with, “I feel…