Children experience as much trauma when their parents divorce, as in cases of mishandling, abuse, rejection, etc. Most reasons for divorce are anger, financial fears, adultery, alcohol addiction, abuse, other forms of addiction, or lovelessness.
With all of these reasons, there are usually spiritual roots of the past that are manifesting in a marriage. Either the husband or wife is pushing just the right button to make the other hurt, which harms their marriage, and indirectly spools over to their children.
Divorce brings trauma – more to the children than the parents. Some examples include:
- The child may need to go to a new school and make new friends.
- Children aged 3 – 9 usually blame themselves for causing their parents to divorce.
- Small children start to wet the bed, and can usually no longer do small tasks.
- Older Children tends to be more independent, as they feel abandoned by their parents.
- Boys become rebellious and aggressive.
- Girls get anxious, and withdraw from people. They can be sexually active at an early stage.
- Consequences of divorce in children are usually: bitterness, stress, fear, anxiety, emotional pain, rejection, low self-esteem, and feeling of worthlessness.
These various forms of trauma can then manifest in a person’s life even as an adult. If a spouse pulls an emotional trigger, he or she can experience childhood trauma which can cause a marriage to break up. The child usually becomes a play ball to hurt one another with. He or she are often placed in the centre of a fight, and, by doing this, the parents send a wrong message. The child begins to see their love as conditional. They also tend to use the same type of conflict resolution in their own marriage one day. Children from a divorced family will likely also end in divorce.
The child might consider it better to be right, than to be loved. He or she is consequently robbed of a loving childhood, and is forced to grow up. Before you as parents think about separating, try to spare your children by locating the root of the problem.